Depression.

It's been so long since I felt so depressed. I'm not sure if I had mentioned this in my previous blog post before...but yeah, I've never been a confident girl. I've been trying to build my confidence but up till now, nope, I'm still not as confident as you. 

For certain modules that I'm interested in and I think that I'm slightly better at, I aimed for better grades. I worked harder, put in extra effort as compared to the other modules that I don't really care about. Did my effort pay off? No. It's not that I think it's unfair; because I know it isn't about how hardworking you are. But I'm starting to doubt myself, again. Thoughts keep clouding my head when I saw my grades just now. "Maybe I'm just not meant to be in this field.", "What if there's no future for me in this?", "Maybe I'm just not good enough...". 

Negative, I know. I had the urge to cry just now..

But really, I can't help it. I hope I can get rid of these thoughts....WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW.

I'm so grateful for this friend who's always there for me when I feel upset. I always feel SO MUCH better after talking to him. What are friends for? :)