blessing in disguise, maybe

So, before the semester started, our mentor fb messaged us, telling us that the other group is doing our first choice client and tried to persuade us to go for our 6th choice which according to her, has the most potential. Now we were already unhappy then when she said, "if they don't do, then we do, ok?". Why do you make it sound like they have the first priority when clearly, it's OUR first choice? Later on, we found out that she doesn't like their first choice client, so she asked them to go for their second, which is the one we have in common. Last friday, during our first official consultation, Patrick and Chris were pretty positive about us going for our first choice, knowing that there will be a comparison with the other group. Only our own mentor, ONLY HER; She strongly object our plan and kept recommending us to go for other clients. At the end of the day, we told her that we've decided to go for our first choice and are ready to face the competition. Instead of supporting us, she went on rambling, trying to brainwash us NOT to do it. Our mentor, how encouraging. But anyway, she asked us to think about it and we told her we'll let her know our decision the next day(But in our heads we have already decided what we want to do); and she will support our final decision.

We already went to the place to do site visit and research because, the proposal is due in 10 days. And just now, right after we've sent out the survey forms, guess what? She brought us some goody good news.

/ /

hi guys, i hope you have found a new client. i have spoken to HH about the similar client situation and she is not allowing it as both groups are under the same tutor and changing of tutors is not allowed. just so you are aware...

/ /

Well, fuck you!

It was already unfair when you tried to persuade us not to go for our first choice client just because the other group is doing it. Plus, you're the one who asked them to go for it. This is just so fucked up. I was having my first gastric pain since 6am in the morning (I finally know how it feels like), couldn't really focus in class and then it came this piece of news. Happy Monday everybody.

Last sem x stuff

It was the first day of my last semester in poly yesterday, although it didn't feel like it. There was basically no class; just a briefing which doesn't matter if I attended or not and the Stop Everything & Design event. Because the school will be moving to the new block next year and we're the last batch of student who're using the studio now, we're provided with spray cans & paints to decorate vandalize our studio. It was a stupid idea because our learning environment looks like SHIT now, but I enjoyed the process tho. It was probably my ONLY chance to vandalize my studio haha. The only thing I love about our studio now is the lights woooo. The lecturers expected us to be all designer-ish/artsy fartsy but sorry to disappoint hahahhaa we were like wild beast that just got released from the cage. Well, but we did won the Shock & Awe prize \ o /

random updates

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Robin is dying. :(

A few days ago, I found out that my battery is swollen and it's causing my trackpad to act strangely. I've ordered a new battery from Apple; hopefully the technician in me will fix everything smoothly and my battery won't explode or anything, for now. I WANT A NEW MBP D:

Introducing Happy. I know the name sucks l o l. Apparently he's a lost dog that showed up at my uncle's house one day, he's super hyper and follows everywhere you go so my uncle named him Happy. It's ours now but my mom doesn't want to keep him. :( If only I lived with my family sigh.....

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20th

I've turned 20 on last Wednesday! Came back to Singapore to spend the day with my friends; We went to Adventure Cove for the first time, it was fun! (despite the fact that some of us were late and we were rushing because the place closes at 6)  We didn't get to play with everything there and even queued for an hour for one of the rides, but it was worth it (Y)

JZ & Anna appeared and surprised us (me & Hasheer the October babies) with our "cake" and presents when we were eating at the sky park. I was still surprised although I kinda knew that they were coming haha.

Thank you Anna for all the handmade stuff! The paper bags, stickers with my logo, photos, cards, messages, bracelet & magic glowing jar. <3

After dinner, we made an impromptu decision to watch midnight movie- Insidious 2. Damn, it was soooo good! I'd give it a 9/10 rating for a horror movie. Even Hasheer, the person who made us all laughed when we were watching Silent Hill was covering his eyes most of the time, he even grabbed Joseph's arm! Hahaha. It was already 1am when the movie ended, went to JZ's house to spend the night because 1. I didn't have the money to cab home 2. I WAS SO SCARED & PARANOID. Joseph was already making stupid jokes before the movie like "later the taxi uncle makes a 360 degree head turn", "later you see somebody else in the mirror". Even when we went to bed at 4am, when I wasn't sleeping alone in the room, I was still thinking about stuff and I think I dreamt of the movie and woke up several times before I finally slept in peace l o l.

But yep, great birthday this year. Received some unexpected text/gift, I'm happy just to have friends who spent the entire day with me. :)

Never meant to start a war.

A birthday card I've done for Nic earlier this month. Wish I'd taken a better photo haha.

I think I'm probably one of the few people who enjoy listening to The Fox by Ylvis, such a funny song.

bkk

Things were quite fucked up in late August, knowing that my effort didn't pay off and once again doubting myself. It hit me pretty hard, I'm still asking myself the same damn question everyday, "why?". Thankfully, we booked the tickets to Bangkok on the right date, I needed a getaway. It was my first overseas trip with friends! The 4-days-3-nights trip was worth the money although I overspent BY A LOT LOL. Most of the things there are really dirt cheap- transportation, food & shopping. After we came back on the 4th, I've been working to earn back the money I've spent ha ha ha. I can't wait for our next graduation trip to hk!!! :)

of jerky shots & faces ^

Since New Girl, Grimm & Walking Dead are only coming back in October, I went to download a new tv series...I knew I was going to be rotting at home the entire day with the company of tv series and refuse to go out but I couldn't help it. GAME OF THRONES IS RUINING MY LYFE. In less than 2 weeks' time, I'm already at Season 3. The cinematography is mindblowing, the casts & storyline are great too. Just..way, wayyyyy too much sex scenes. I might go and read the book after I'm done with the show, there're a lot of good reviews on it!

The wifi & my 3G sucks so bad right now ugh season 3 is taking forever to download.

corrupted

Fuck everything. 

@#$%?!

I can't wait for this Thursday to be over, one last fucking group work and at least for the next 6 months I won't have to deal with this anymore. No one, not a single person in my group EVER initiates. Now let's get this over and done with..

don't stop me now

It feels great to be back at home! I'm feeling the holiday mood now, despite having one more submission. After satisfying my sushi craving in the morning, the rest of the day was spent singing to Backstreet boys, Westlife, Queen, The Beatles' playlist on Youtube HA HA. When "I want it that way" was playing, I subconsciously took out my sketchbook and pencil and the next thing I know I was drawing lol butttttttttt I got the lyrics wrong HAHAHAHA oh well. Skill's getting pretty rusty but it was a great day~ If only days like these can last longer, I have to go back tomorrow for duty and my one last presentation on Thursday, meh. :(

So stoked for bangkok trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99 problems

As the title mentioned in my previous post, it's my day off (I still have 3 more deadlines but I self-declared today as a holiday for myself since I have no classes/duty today yay).

Surprisingly, I allowed myself to not worry about anything today. I watched Adventure Time, finally clicked on the first episode of Breaking Bad because someone told me it's really good but for some reason I got bored watching the first ten minutes of the show so I quit haha. It's been really long since I doodled. No sketches, no pencil, no planning, there's typo error and it sucks but it was fun. I spent half the day reading 40 days of dating (link in previous post) and I can't wait to find out what's going to happen! The story and the typography are both awesome (Y). A quote that I remembered from one of Jessica's post,

"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time"- Bertrand Russell. Well said.

It's 23:30 now, I'm 30 minutes behind timeline oops. Time to get back to reality and work on my creative process journal.

Day off

http://fortydaysofdating.com/

I am thirty four days late, but I'm glad that I stumbled upon this! A really interesting project by Jessica Walsh & Timothy Goodman.

what went wrong

Have you ever felt that you suck so much that you should just give up on whatever you're doing?

The exhibition has been going on for a few days now, but honestly I just can't wait for the day to tear down my work. Looking at everyone's artifact, I can't help it but felt really shitty inside. I thought I'd be satisfied and feel that all the hard work, the amount of sawdust that I've inhaled, random cuts that I've gotten from I-don't-know-where, money that I spent would be worth it but nope. I actually feel embarrassed...because everyone else's work seem to be 10 times better than mine. I've lost the drive already...I'm really afraid that my passion would be gone too. I used to draw a lot, I couldn't live without my sketchbook and pen. What happened?

While waiting for Yusman and Mel to pick us up for supper after our duty just now, Kah and I talked about life.....(kinda) I don't really know what I want to do in the future. I'm not 100% sure if I wanna pursue degree in visual comm. Even if there's a full-time graphic designer job offer (In this case, I'm referring to my internship company 19blossom), I might not accept it because I need to make sure I enjoy what I do. If I'd given a choice, whether to get $2k per month for doing something that I'm not really passionate about or $1.5k per month to do something I love, I'll definitely choose the latter. I don't really see myself being a graphic designer in 10 years time..who knows I might end up opening a cafe? It's been my dream since day 1 anyway haha. Kah and I kinda have the same mindset..we're both interested in creating our own street label as well. But then again, these are just ideas in our heads. We still have FYP to worry about, damn. 

Drained.

Tired, just really tired. This project/exhibition has been draining my soul and energy for about 3 weeks already. Thank god that problems are solved and everything's back on track now. Exhibition is in 2 days' time, PLEASE LET EVERYTHING RUN SMOOTHLY. 

Lose & Gain

Tonight it is. I finally let all my feelings out. I've shared my problem with a few people that I trust. I've come to realize that I treasure this particular friend a lot. I'm quite surprised that I feel comfortable telling him everything, even things that my close friends don't know. You don't get to meet many people like that in your life. At the same time, I'm also at my worst because I've hurt someone. Some things just have to be done sooner or later...but I still feel like an asshole. I hope that I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow. Really needa get myself busy with all the works I have to forget these horrible feelings.

Baybeats 2013

Went to support Gabriel and his band, Mannequins at Baybeats 2013 on Friday. I felt like a proud mother (lol) /sister/friend seeing him performing on the stage HAHA. It's been dream for him since secondary school and he made it, I feel so happy for him! :') UH-MAY-ZING PERFORMANCE, you know I'm a fan when I fall in love with a song the first time I hear it. In fact, I love each and every one of their song! It was a really great Friday accompanied by good friends and music. :)

blurred lines

- You're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again.

I've learnt not to be too attached, not to give out my 100% and not to fall in love recklessly.

I've become so fucking protective of myself and I didn't even realize that until now.

I fear, when you care more about me than I do about you.

I fear, because I am so damn indecisive (I really hate myself for that) and still uncertain about my feelings.

I fear, because I have commitment issues.

issues

"We’re afraid of commitment because commitment is authentic, and we’re intimidated by authenticity because authenticity is all or nothing. We’re scared of all or nothing because all or nothing is unreasonable. We’re afraid of commitment because, as told by many, commitment is death, the end of an entity, a new beginning. Commitment is a choice. Commitment is one of the only significant gambles we will ever make, and if we haven’t chosen wisely, there’s no recouping our losses."

Maybe I'm being selfish...

Putting my defenses up

I tend to build walls around myself to protect myself from getting hurt. I don't usually open up to people (not even my closest friends) as well, especially when it involves feelings. I guess I don't like to show people the vulnerable side of me, and that often leads to me pushing people away. But it's pretty easy to earn my trust, I find that rather contradicting...though. I just wish I could be less protective of myself.

now playing: Imagine Dragons  - Every Night

Overcome.

When something you say affect me this much. You have no idea...

Here in your arms

I AM THE HAPPIEST GIRL ON EARTH TODAY HAHAHA. I got to see Boyce Avenue!!! These three talented brothers totally made my night and what makes me love them even more? They came back with four more songs when we requested for an encore! 

I was lucky enough to catch a clear view of them throughout the entire performance.

I LOVE YOU ALEJANDRO.

The weirdest thing is that halfway through the performance, I realized that I no longer have to urge to chase them to take photos when their performance ends because I was more than happy and contented.  I thought I'd be sad if I don't get to take picture with them but nope, seeing them performing right in front of me is ENOUGH. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR TONIGHT. :)

butterflies

Look at the shades after 5 weeks lol.

I wanted to go for the Youtube Fanfest event with Nic but we didn't because I refuse to pay $88 just to see 2 youtubers which were Ryan Higa & Boyce Avenue (Idk the rest of them). BUT!!! I am going to see Boyce Avenue performing at Clarke Quay tomorrow hehehe. I will be very sad if I don't get to take photo with them tomorrow. Adeline was super lucky because she met Chester See, the overly attached girlfriend, pewdiepie, Ryan and even took photo with some of them!! SORRY, FANGIRL MOMENT.

I'm so glad we found us this way.