Halfway there

photo credits goes to azhar

Creative Marketplace turned out to be a really good experience, well minus the part where we had to carry all our logistics from home to the national library and back home for three days. On the first day, I just couldn't wait for it to be over but really, I wished the exhibition was at least a week long. I got to meet interesting people, learn how to present myself and got some (unconfirmed) job opportunities. I'm still lost, uncertain of what I want people to see me as but I think I'm getting there. :) I think the best part of this exhibition is that it kinda helped with boosting my confidence, even though it's just that tiny weenie bit of it. I'm glad to know that there are people out there who genuinely appreciate my works, especially when they are not people from the design industry. I was shocked and loss for words when someone asked me if I'm selling my works lol. Really, really needed to hear those words. Thank you strangers :') 

The only photo that I took of my booth haha

Still vividly remember what Azhar said to me during the assessment on the first day. I don't know if he really means it or not, but I would wanna believe that he does. That motivated me one way or another so, thank you, probably-the-only-lecturer-who-is-still-not-my-friend-on-facebook.

Last lap: FYP/Graduation Show! GOGOGO

Fats

Blogging from my phone as Robin is dead, again. It's a long long story but in short, Robin needs a new logic board (again). I've honestly lost all hope in this MacBook Pro model as a lot of other owners of the same models are facing the same issue. But this is such a bad, BAD timing because of my ongoing FYP T_T. I just hope I can get back Robin asap and it can last till I graduate. Then, I can think about buying a new MBP.

Highlight of the post:

I'd never really care about my body weight or worry about my body shape etc. Who would've known that I would be so sad over things like that now HAHAH. Now, it all begins with a pair of pants. I've been hunting for a pair of tartan pants for quite some time. The ones that I found are either not to my liking, too expensive or they're sold out. When I finally bought one online, I was SO happy (didn't even bother checking the measurements and trusted the alphabet "M"). CNY is just around the corner so I thought, yay I could wear this on cny. Today, the pants arrived and....yeah. IT'S TOO SMALL FOR ME. DAMN THEM MODELS ARE SO PETITE, It's like size S when it says medium! Time to really make exercising a habit, and so the tartan pants hunt continues..I'm probably gonna have to sell the pants :(

/

I've been really stressed over my final year project. I just wanna get it over and done with so I can graduate but I'm trying to change the mindset because it doesn't help to motivate myself in any way. Good thing is that we were selected to be one of the exhibitors in the Grad Show this year, that's enough to make me go forward I guess. I wouldn't want to get removed from the list and embarrass myself hahhaahha. Oooookay time to continue drawing animals~

Merry Christmas!

I'm not really feeling the Christmas spirit this year, partly because I'm really broke hahaha. I don't have anyone else to blame because I splurged on so many things this December. The pair of loafers is a Christmas gift to myself I guess hahahaha. Topshop was having a lot of sales last week, worthy purchase! Going to get Joseph's 21st birthday present and head over to the chalet now, hohoho!

Like a cloud

Always floating around

Travelling from town to town

Learning to settle down

inner self

current mood

Stumbled upon an article a few days ago, I can relate to it so well that it's scary.

10 Things To Stop Caring About If You Want To Be Happier

/ What others think

/ Past mistakes

/ Failure

/ What you don't have

/ "What ifs"

/ "I'll be happier when..." thoughts

/ Regrets

/ Rejection

/ Society's expectations

/ Being good enough

Checked 8 out of 10 things off the list.

I care too much about what other people think of me.
I'm always worrying about the past, the present & the future.
Things that bring me regrets keep coming back to haunt me and
I'm always thinking that what if I made a different decision back then?
And number 10, I think that I'm not good enough.

I also did a palm reading and numerology test yesterday
(people have been tweeting about this site for some weird reason),
the results were 90% accurate :O

-

"You posses a pointed hand.
This is the hand of someone who appreciates the finer things in life.
You like to be surrounded with art and beauty, and you tend to avoid manual labor.
You are interested in psychic matters, and may even posses a heightened sense of perception.
Many people who poses this type of hand become involved in the cosmetic or hair styling industry."

Hmm I'm not too sure about the last part though.

-

" The key to your personality is freedom.

You love travel, adventure, variety and meeting new people.

You posses the curiosity of a cat, and you long to experience all of life.

You love to be involved in several things at the same time,

as long as you are not tied down to any one area.

You like change, new things and new horizons.

You can make friends easily, and your personality is upbeat and often inspiring,

attracting people form all walks of life.

You are sensual and you love to taste all of life.

You find it difficult to commit to one relationship, but once you committed,

you can be faithful as an old dog. ( I LOL at this. Funny, but true.)

You yearn for freedom, and self-employment attracts you powerfully.
Your challenge is to settle into one area in order to cultivate your ability sufficiently
to earn a living and to attain success. Once you find the niche, the motivation and
inspiration you supply to others will bring you much in return.
You will find your friends and colleges supporting and promoting you in the road of success."

-

The numerology test result was spot on!
So it seems that my challenge is to learn the true meaning of freedom ~

tgiw?

THESE THINGS ARE EVIL. My feet still hurt when I woke up this morning! I don't understand how can people walk in them, how can they bear the pain?! To all you girls out there, I SALUTE YOU. I am not cut out for dresses and heels man, not feminine enough hahhaahha. It's hard being a girl; I love and hate heels because they're so pretty but I can never bear to let my feet suffer to look glamourous. No more heels for me man, no more. 

The only decent photo I have in my phone

Last night was fun! I would've stayed longer if it weren't for my heels. :(

Can't believe I actually ran in those things l o l how on earth did I do that.

jolly good fellow

I'm not sure if it's a Libra thing, or it's just my personality. I can't seem to stay mad at someone/something for long, which is a good trait I guess? I was still pissed from the incident mentioned in the previous post, it lasted until Tuesday because shit continued to happen. I was so angry to the point where I was trying to hold back my tears in the studio, I didn't even want to talk to my tutor anymore l o l so I made Joseph go alone. After that night, I was done ranting, dwelling and sulking over the fact that we were being treated unfairly and things weren't going smoothly for us at the beginning of this journey. "Everything happens for a reason", so I'd rather see this as a challenge and to my surprise, I'm slowly liking this new client that our tutor suggested to us. :)

Things are getting better; I felt really good today because we managed to get our proposal done early! (Y) I think I deserve a reward hahahahha. I'm still waiting for the rest of my pay so that I can strike off two things in my to-buy list hehe.

Goofing around with photobooth ha ha ha thank you Apple for the free OS X Mavericks update!! Robin runs so much smoother now and it doesn't lag that often. I feel like I'm having a brand new mbp with my new battery, am taking good care of Robin now!

Anyway, my conversation with the guys for the past few months have been involving a lot of "gym", "muscles", "biceps", "strong man", "buff guy", "six packs", "abs", "2.4", "pull up", "NAPFA" and I thought it would stop after they've taken their NAPFA but nOpe. I've never been a sporty person so I would never ever hit the gym with them ahahahaha and I could never join in the convo when they talk about gym or NAPFA so I'd just listen, damn we need a new topic to talk about! 

blessing in disguise, maybe

So, before the semester started, our mentor fb messaged us, telling us that the other group is doing our first choice client and tried to persuade us to go for our 6th choice which according to her, has the most potential. Now we were already unhappy then when she said, "if they don't do, then we do, ok?". Why do you make it sound like they have the first priority when clearly, it's OUR first choice? Later on, we found out that she doesn't like their first choice client, so she asked them to go for their second, which is the one we have in common. Last friday, during our first official consultation, Patrick and Chris were pretty positive about us going for our first choice, knowing that there will be a comparison with the other group. Only our own mentor, ONLY HER; She strongly object our plan and kept recommending us to go for other clients. At the end of the day, we told her that we've decided to go for our first choice and are ready to face the competition. Instead of supporting us, she went on rambling, trying to brainwash us NOT to do it. Our mentor, how encouraging. But anyway, she asked us to think about it and we told her we'll let her know our decision the next day(But in our heads we have already decided what we want to do); and she will support our final decision.

We already went to the place to do site visit and research because, the proposal is due in 10 days. And just now, right after we've sent out the survey forms, guess what? She brought us some goody good news.

/ /

hi guys, i hope you have found a new client. i have spoken to HH about the similar client situation and she is not allowing it as both groups are under the same tutor and changing of tutors is not allowed. just so you are aware...

/ /

Well, fuck you!

It was already unfair when you tried to persuade us not to go for our first choice client just because the other group is doing it. Plus, you're the one who asked them to go for it. This is just so fucked up. I was having my first gastric pain since 6am in the morning (I finally know how it feels like), couldn't really focus in class and then it came this piece of news. Happy Monday everybody.

Last sem x stuff

It was the first day of my last semester in poly yesterday, although it didn't feel like it. There was basically no class; just a briefing which doesn't matter if I attended or not and the Stop Everything & Design event. Because the school will be moving to the new block next year and we're the last batch of student who're using the studio now, we're provided with spray cans & paints to decorate vandalize our studio. It was a stupid idea because our learning environment looks like SHIT now, but I enjoyed the process tho. It was probably my ONLY chance to vandalize my studio haha. The only thing I love about our studio now is the lights woooo. The lecturers expected us to be all designer-ish/artsy fartsy but sorry to disappoint hahahhaa we were like wild beast that just got released from the cage. Well, but we did won the Shock & Awe prize \ o /

random updates

-

Robin is dying. :(

A few days ago, I found out that my battery is swollen and it's causing my trackpad to act strangely. I've ordered a new battery from Apple; hopefully the technician in me will fix everything smoothly and my battery won't explode or anything, for now. I WANT A NEW MBP D:

Introducing Happy. I know the name sucks l o l. Apparently he's a lost dog that showed up at my uncle's house one day, he's super hyper and follows everywhere you go so my uncle named him Happy. It's ours now but my mom doesn't want to keep him. :( If only I lived with my family sigh.....

-

20th

I've turned 20 on last Wednesday! Came back to Singapore to spend the day with my friends; We went to Adventure Cove for the first time, it was fun! (despite the fact that some of us were late and we were rushing because the place closes at 6)  We didn't get to play with everything there and even queued for an hour for one of the rides, but it was worth it (Y)

JZ & Anna appeared and surprised us (me & Hasheer the October babies) with our "cake" and presents when we were eating at the sky park. I was still surprised although I kinda knew that they were coming haha.

Thank you Anna for all the handmade stuff! The paper bags, stickers with my logo, photos, cards, messages, bracelet & magic glowing jar. <3

After dinner, we made an impromptu decision to watch midnight movie- Insidious 2. Damn, it was soooo good! I'd give it a 9/10 rating for a horror movie. Even Hasheer, the person who made us all laughed when we were watching Silent Hill was covering his eyes most of the time, he even grabbed Joseph's arm! Hahaha. It was already 1am when the movie ended, went to JZ's house to spend the night because 1. I didn't have the money to cab home 2. I WAS SO SCARED & PARANOID. Joseph was already making stupid jokes before the movie like "later the taxi uncle makes a 360 degree head turn", "later you see somebody else in the mirror". Even when we went to bed at 4am, when I wasn't sleeping alone in the room, I was still thinking about stuff and I think I dreamt of the movie and woke up several times before I finally slept in peace l o l.

But yep, great birthday this year. Received some unexpected text/gift, I'm happy just to have friends who spent the entire day with me. :)

Never meant to start a war.

A birthday card I've done for Nic earlier this month. Wish I'd taken a better photo haha.

I think I'm probably one of the few people who enjoy listening to The Fox by Ylvis, such a funny song.

bkk

Things were quite fucked up in late August, knowing that my effort didn't pay off and once again doubting myself. It hit me pretty hard, I'm still asking myself the same damn question everyday, "why?". Thankfully, we booked the tickets to Bangkok on the right date, I needed a getaway. It was my first overseas trip with friends! The 4-days-3-nights trip was worth the money although I overspent BY A LOT LOL. Most of the things there are really dirt cheap- transportation, food & shopping. After we came back on the 4th, I've been working to earn back the money I've spent ha ha ha. I can't wait for our next graduation trip to hk!!! :)

of jerky shots & faces ^

Since New Girl, Grimm & Walking Dead are only coming back in October, I went to download a new tv series...I knew I was going to be rotting at home the entire day with the company of tv series and refuse to go out but I couldn't help it. GAME OF THRONES IS RUINING MY LYFE. In less than 2 weeks' time, I'm already at Season 3. The cinematography is mindblowing, the casts & storyline are great too. Just..way, wayyyyy too much sex scenes. I might go and read the book after I'm done with the show, there're a lot of good reviews on it!

The wifi & my 3G sucks so bad right now ugh season 3 is taking forever to download.

corrupted

Fuck everything. 

@#$%?!

I can't wait for this Thursday to be over, one last fucking group work and at least for the next 6 months I won't have to deal with this anymore. No one, not a single person in my group EVER initiates. Now let's get this over and done with..

don't stop me now

It feels great to be back at home! I'm feeling the holiday mood now, despite having one more submission. After satisfying my sushi craving in the morning, the rest of the day was spent singing to Backstreet boys, Westlife, Queen, The Beatles' playlist on Youtube HA HA. When "I want it that way" was playing, I subconsciously took out my sketchbook and pencil and the next thing I know I was drawing lol butttttttttt I got the lyrics wrong HAHAHAHA oh well. Skill's getting pretty rusty but it was a great day~ If only days like these can last longer, I have to go back tomorrow for duty and my one last presentation on Thursday, meh. :(

So stoked for bangkok trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99 problems

As the title mentioned in my previous post, it's my day off (I still have 3 more deadlines but I self-declared today as a holiday for myself since I have no classes/duty today yay).

Surprisingly, I allowed myself to not worry about anything today. I watched Adventure Time, finally clicked on the first episode of Breaking Bad because someone told me it's really good but for some reason I got bored watching the first ten minutes of the show so I quit haha. It's been really long since I doodled. No sketches, no pencil, no planning, there's typo error and it sucks but it was fun. I spent half the day reading 40 days of dating (link in previous post) and I can't wait to find out what's going to happen! The story and the typography are both awesome (Y). A quote that I remembered from one of Jessica's post,

"Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time"- Bertrand Russell. Well said.

It's 23:30 now, I'm 30 minutes behind timeline oops. Time to get back to reality and work on my creative process journal.

Day off

http://fortydaysofdating.com/

I am thirty four days late, but I'm glad that I stumbled upon this! A really interesting project by Jessica Walsh & Timothy Goodman.

what went wrong

Have you ever felt that you suck so much that you should just give up on whatever you're doing?

The exhibition has been going on for a few days now, but honestly I just can't wait for the day to tear down my work. Looking at everyone's artifact, I can't help it but felt really shitty inside. I thought I'd be satisfied and feel that all the hard work, the amount of sawdust that I've inhaled, random cuts that I've gotten from I-don't-know-where, money that I spent would be worth it but nope. I actually feel embarrassed...because everyone else's work seem to be 10 times better than mine. I've lost the drive already...I'm really afraid that my passion would be gone too. I used to draw a lot, I couldn't live without my sketchbook and pen. What happened?

While waiting for Yusman and Mel to pick us up for supper after our duty just now, Kah and I talked about life.....(kinda) I don't really know what I want to do in the future. I'm not 100% sure if I wanna pursue degree in visual comm. Even if there's a full-time graphic designer job offer (In this case, I'm referring to my internship company 19blossom), I might not accept it because I need to make sure I enjoy what I do. If I'd given a choice, whether to get $2k per month for doing something that I'm not really passionate about or $1.5k per month to do something I love, I'll definitely choose the latter. I don't really see myself being a graphic designer in 10 years time..who knows I might end up opening a cafe? It's been my dream since day 1 anyway haha. Kah and I kinda have the same mindset..we're both interested in creating our own street label as well. But then again, these are just ideas in our heads. We still have FYP to worry about, damn. 

Drained.

Tired, just really tired. This project/exhibition has been draining my soul and energy for about 3 weeks already. Thank god that problems are solved and everything's back on track now. Exhibition is in 2 days' time, PLEASE LET EVERYTHING RUN SMOOTHLY. 

Lose & Gain

Tonight it is. I finally let all my feelings out. I've shared my problem with a few people that I trust. I've come to realize that I treasure this particular friend a lot. I'm quite surprised that I feel comfortable telling him everything, even things that my close friends don't know. You don't get to meet many people like that in your life. At the same time, I'm also at my worst because I've hurt someone. Some things just have to be done sooner or later...but I still feel like an asshole. I hope that I'll wake up feeling better tomorrow. Really needa get myself busy with all the works I have to forget these horrible feelings.